#1402

66

Jan. 27, 2010, 8:35 p.m.

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//Dr. Simel is telling a story about her son's car accident... Simel: So, the moral of the story is, when you're old enough to drive, don't let a strange man follow you to a hotel and pay for a room!

#1404

66

Jan. 28, 2010, 7:34 a.m.

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Schafer: Watch the electrons fight to illuminate your screen! *in a high voice* It's my turn!

#1445

66

Feb. 1, 2010, 9:15 p.m.

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"Why can't the universe just work better?" - Carlos

#1481

66

Feb. 7, 2010, 5:16 p.m.

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//Johnny correctly answers a question Hinkle: I TAUGHT JOHNNY SOMETHING! You all heard that? He learned something! And they said I couldn't...

#1514

66

Feb. 19, 2010, 8:04 p.m.

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Blitz: "I don't wanna get too close to a black hole. I don't even wanna throw my dog close to it."

#1515

66

Feb. 20, 2010, 4:36 p.m.

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Hinkle: A cartel is a group of companies that controls the supply of a certain resource. Stefan: Like the Taliban?

#1525

66

Feb. 22, 2010, 6:10 p.m.

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Porac: Ref! What happened there? He was offsides wasn't he? Ref: No, his shot, it hit the post. (field goal post, and so was out of play) Porac: Yes, yes I understand that, but he was offside. Ref: It hit the post. Porac: That was offside!!! Ref: If you continue to argue, I will have to give you a yellow card. No more arguing. Porac: Ok, your doing a great job sir (kind of sarcastically obviously) Ref: (Pulls out yellow card) I warned you coach Porac: IT WAS A COMPLIMENT?!

#1558

66

Feb. 27, 2010, 11:34 a.m.

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//classroom discussion has turned to the recent snow Student: Do you believe in global warming? Whitacre: What, are you asking whether I support it? Yeah, global warming! Student: Okay, do you believe that global warming is happening? Whitacre: Heck yes I do. In the future, we're going to get even more moisture here in the mid-Atlantic. That means more snow for you guys...and for your kids. More parent-child together time. You can tell them stories! "I remember back when the snow..." And then they can tell you the same things that you tell your parents now. "Shut up and give me some tater tots and a pot pie. Shut up! My friends are coming over, so go to your room and shut up!"

#1560

66

Feb. 28, 2010, 1:30 p.m.

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Gross: Let's go back to...or...I don't want to call it 'the standard model of rape'

#1599

66

March 5, 2010, 8:41 p.m.

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Amir: So, say I marry a hermaphrodite and we want to have kids... Balla: It's called adoption.