#3129

1010

March 22, 2011, 10:16 p.m.

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Stein: I'm retiring from crossword puzzles. But it's like Brett Favre. I'll announce that I'm participating again next year. I told my wife this, and she was happy. She said that I could find better better things to do than 15 crosswords a day. And I was like "Nahhh."

#3166

1010

March 29, 2011, 11:15 a.m.

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Schafer (holds up wedding ring): See this?  This is your worst nightmare! //class laughs Schafer: Marriage jokes aside, this thing gets caught on EVERYTHING when you're doing work.  So you just shouldn't wear it.

#3226

1010

April 12, 2011, 10:43 p.m.

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//wallops Kids: What was going on in your room? Patrice: Oh, we were just moving around. Kids: But why exactly was the floor shaking around 12:30? Neel: Er...well Jeremy was having fun and playing around in bed.

#3250

1010

April 16, 2011, 1:02 p.m.

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// After watching the strip scene from "Little Ms. Sunshine" in English (it had a purpose, probably) Gibboney: You know, that reminds me of my weekend... Class: WHAT?? Gibboney: Wait, no, now I need to explain that. Student: No, it's okay, you don't have to explain anything. Gibboney: No, I really do.

#3268

1010

April 27, 2011, 5:33 p.m.

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//Mr. Giles has given the class time to work on the homework, and some people are just socializing instead of working. Giles: Charles Yin! Something shiny is on your desk. Charles: (looking up quickly) What? Giles: Just seeing how easily distracted you are. Go do something productive!

#3324

1010

May 7, 2011, 2:01 p.m.

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// During Thermo, Rajan and Kendix are presenting manure power as an energy source Nathan Ng: What does PETA think of this? Rajan: No more questions! Schafer: Whoa, whoa, hold on. That's actually an interesting question. Rajan: Well... (gives some common-sense explanation) Schafer: No, no, you got it all wrong! You're looking at it from a logical viewpoint. What they're going to say is that you're enslaving the animals and stealing what's rightfully theirs. Doyung: They're entitled to their poop!

#3339

1010

May 10, 2011, 9:13 p.m.

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//students had graffitied a teacher's driveway to ask him to prom ON BEHALF OF HIS 9TH PD Teacher: Wait, you had donuts for me? Sophie: We tried to ring your doorbell, but it didn't work. Hannah: We could see you through the window though! You were on the couch watching TV! Teacher: Was I dressed!? Hannah: You had a pink polo on. Teacher: I did.

#3348

1010

May 11, 2011, 9:35 p.m.

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Matt: Have you made teams? Stein: Of course we made teams. We made teams a long time ago. Alla: They also made bets. Stein: I have nothing to say about that.

#3406

1010

May 23, 2011, 4:10 p.m.

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Stein: Diwakaran in the house!

#3525

1010

Sept. 8, 2011, 2:56 p.m.

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Stein: I used to have this "Thinker Doll" made of porcelain. One day, in a parent-teacher-student conference, the kid got so mad, he started yelling, "I hate you and the Thinker Doll!" Then, he smashed it on the ground. And I was like, NOOOOOOO! That was the end of Thinker Doll. Class: What's the kid's name? Stein: I dunno. Class: Where's he now? Stein: Probably in prison.