#9775

1721

Jan. 18, 2022, 1:56 p.m.

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Jerry: Now I lose The Game thinking about the word "here". Lodal: You guys need to stop playing The Game, go find better games! Andy: Mr. Schwartz plays The Game, he literally taught The Game to our class. Lodal: But Mr. Schwartz is a huge nerd!

#10068

1721

Feb. 24, 2022, 8:48 a.m.

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Schwartz: I have a tank with an inflow and an outflow pipe. Give me a liquid. //Someone suggests hydrochloric acid. Schwartz: *draws HCl in the tank* Here's our tank of hydrochloric acid. Give me a particulate substance. //Class calls out suggestions and take a vote. Sprinkes and glass shards tie. Schwartz: We have a tie... So, it'll be glass sprinkles! Schwartz: Now give me an aquatic animal. //Another vote among suggestions is taken. Schwartz: I think I know which one is going to win... *"Steven Wang & Isaiah Ying" wins* (context: they both swim competitively) Schwartz: *draws human figures in the tank* Schwartz: These are magical Stevens and Isaiahs. They are not hurt by our hydrochloric acid or glass sprinkles, and they need not breathe. Their purpose is to constantly swim, perfectly mixing the glass sprinkles with the hydrochloric acid. Schwartz: This represents an everyday situation that we can use math to simulate!

#13352

1721

May 1, 2024, 9:40 a.m.

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William Roe: Is it Arduino or Ardruino? Jorgensen: it's an italian word so it doesn't matter how you say it. Jorgensen: I don't speak italian // Jorgensen says arduino in an in an italian accent with italian hands Jorgensen: that was culturally insensitive.

#13642

1721

Sept. 24, 2025, 1:54 p.m.

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Chris turns in a reading quiz with terrible handwriting Horne: You should be a doctor Horne: You already write like one

#13674

1721

Nov. 18, 2025, 9:43 a.m.

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Justin: Mr. Schafer, what other classes do you teach? Schafer: Quantum physics and math physics. Justin: Whoa. Quantum physics? Justin: Are you sure you're smart enough to teach quantam physics? Schafer: *Laughs* Schafer: I wrote the curriculum for it, Justin. Justin: Yeah, but, are you sure you're smart enough to teach it? Schafer: *Leaves*

#2464

2329

Nov. 3, 2010, 8:58 a.m.

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//Mitchell has dressed as Mr. Rose; the resemblance is striking Rose (talking to Ostrander): I totally got a gorilla suit for Halloween this year. Evan: So Mitchell dresses as Rose and Rose dresses as Mitchell? Weird. Rose: BURNNNNN

#3330

2329

May 9, 2011, 7:48 a.m.

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Yessi: AP Spanish is such a joke. You have the classroom full of Hispanic kids and the one token white kid. Evan: AP Latin is worse. You have the classroom full of dead kids and the one token living kid.

#8558

2329

March 11, 2020, 7:54 a.m.

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*Lillian walks in a couple of minutes late to biochem* Bosse: YOU HAVE TO UPDATE YOUR RESUME

#2

1618

May 21, 2009, 12:13 p.m.

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// Mr. Stein telling his Sports Statistics class about competitive eating I know a lot about competitive eating... [Pats stomach] ...as you can see.

#903

1618

Nov. 19, 2009, 8:35 p.m.

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*a student knocks on the door loudly and someone lets him in. he sharpens his pencil like a mad man* Rose: Maaaaan, can you go bother someone else? I'm teaching a class here! Student: But there's no other pencil sharpeners! Rose: No, just get out of here! Student: *runs out of there like crazy*