#12665

1212

Dec. 5, 2023, 3:06 p.m.

⚐ Report

sahu: *gets call* sahu: hello? ???: your car is in the gara-- sahu: you have the wrong number!! sahu: *hangs up*

#12677

1212

Dec. 6, 2023, 2:08 p.m.

⚐ Report

O'Donovan: Stop talking. Dylan: I don't know how! O'Donovan: I can go get some duct tape...

#12752

1212

Dec. 18, 2023, 5:19 p.m.

⚐ Report

Rose: There we go. My first aleph of the year. Rose: They get progressively worse the more Judaism evaporates from my body.

#12793

1212

Dec. 21, 2023, 9:41 a.m.

⚐ Report

// Stein's giving us his high school story Nikhita: So you just showed people sexual images all day at school? Stein: Yeah, we didn't really have class.

#12835

1212

Jan. 5, 2024, 11:54 p.m.

⚐ Report

Smolen: that's how you pick up a person!

#12838

1212

Jan. 16, 2024, 8:50 p.m.

⚐ Report

Rose: this is the kind of thing that will piss off Schafer, but this is America, so we are measuring sound in feet per second

#12853

1212

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:52 a.m.

⚐ Report

// Delaney is back after being gone for a couple days Ace: You know the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away?” Ace: I wonder if that also applies to Delaney. Delaney: My profile is listed as “Dr. Delaney, MD” because I live in Maryland. Delaney: One time I got a job offer as an anesthesiologist in Texas, with a starting salary of $550,000. Delaney: I really wanted to say “I’ll need at least 1 million before I move to Texas”.

#12859

1212

Jan. 18, 2024, 7:54 a.m.

⚐ Report

//Story about his grandfather Delaney: My grandfather accidentally cut the tendons in his hand with a chainsaw. Delaney: And my grandma obviously got really mad, saying something like “This really is one of the dumbest things you’ve done.” Delaney: She also told him to go to physical therapy. Delaney: He did, and I don’t see why he was so opposed to it. Going to PT for 6 weeks and getting to talk to all the pretty young ladies.

#12866

1212

Jan. 18, 2024, 11:37 a.m.

⚐ Report

Jerry Song: Andy Ying loves nuts Jerry: Me? I prefer balls.

#12892

1212

Jan. 24, 2024, 4:28 p.m.

⚐ Report

Schwartz: For the last Math Meet, I want to bring 60, 70 people. We should show up in force. Student: Is it to flex on Poolesville? Schwartz: No, it's for us! ... but it's also kinda to flex on Poolesville.