#655

1414

Oct. 12, 2009, 7:12 p.m.

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//doing a practice problem with mixtures of urine and water Theresa: Our cross country coach said we need to be more hydrated and drink so much we can read through our urine. Stein: Has anyone actually tried that? Theresa: Well, some people claim they did. Stein: And did it work? Theresa: They said it did! Stein: That's kind of impressive. The thing is though, we're ignoring the whole issue of asparagus.

#737

1414

Oct. 22, 2009, 6:49 p.m.

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Templin: I'm looking for the 10 best reasons to come to the Magnet. Any suggestions? Student: You get to be with your type! Schafer: Ha, yes, obviously. Wait, what is your type? ... Actually, no. I don't want to know.

#1008

1414

Dec. 1, 2009, 7:39 p.m.

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(Swaney imitating a student from NSL): What! There's a test today, I didn't know there is a test ... you got any lotion? *CompGov students proceed to say this would never really happen* *Hannah walks in* Hannah: Wait! There's a quiz today ... I thought it was next week!! ... Hey does anyone have any lotion? Swaney: See!!

#1044

1414

Dec. 4, 2009, 8:13 a.m.

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//some students in Comp Meff have not completed Analysis IB, and others have yet to complete AP Calculus AB A. Pham: Guys, we doing the quiz now! Students: Quiz? Pham: Derivative quiz! Some of you may be at the disadvantage, but just doing it!

#1209

1414

Dec. 17, 2009, 1:37 p.m.

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Whitacre: Tiger Woods' gospel: do unto them as often as possible.

#1302

1414

Jan. 12, 2010, 9:10 a.m.

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Piper: The freshman have apoplexy every time they see backpacks. "AHH! THERE'S A BACKPACK! THERE'S A BACKPACK! WHAT SHOULD I DO?"

#1303

1414

Jan. 12, 2010, 11:37 a.m.

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Schafer: About 80% of the teams were as dumb as bricks, and believe me, I've seen some smart bricks!

#1360

1414

Jan. 19, 2010, 9:51 p.m.

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Moose: What has existed throughout all of Russian history? Theresa: Vodka!

#1622

1414

March 9, 2010, 8:08 p.m.

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Mr. Verock: Everything on the board has a meaning. Except that part over there... Apparently I'm a zombie.

#1625

1414

March 10, 2010, 6:21 p.m.

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//A story from Dr. Simel... So, you know, a long time ago, I used to like to catch a few Zs before my classes. So I had my pillow, and my blanket, and there was this conference room next to my office. I told the secretary to wake me up in 15 minutes, when my class started, and I lay down under the conference table. Later, I woke up, and saw that I had been drooling. Like, reeeeaally drooling. And I looked at my watch, and noticed I was 10 minutes late for class. And then I noticed there were a bunch of legs all around me, and realized they were having a meeting, and they didn't know I was under here. So I was thinking, "Oh my god, what do I do, I can't just skip class," and so I crawled out from under the table - and I was about 30, y'know - and all the people just stared at me. And when I got out of the room, about 3 seconds later, I heard them all start to crack up. Then, a few years later, whenever someone looked at me and started to laugh, I knew that person had been one of the people in the room. Isn't that great?