#3416

5258

May 26, 2011, 2:37 p.m.

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Milo: Katelin, why did you just draw a giant dick on our transparency? Katelin: It's okay, it was on the back.

#4691

5258

Dec. 23, 2013, 10:53 a.m.

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Pham: You get F! Get out and cloe da door. Sachin: I get out of hallway into classroom. Pham: Get out the classroom! Sachin: I get out the classroom if you get out my mom.

#702

6977

Oct. 19, 2009, 6:09 p.m.

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//defining energy in freshman physics Schafer: We will define energy as the ability to cause pain Donaldson: In my class, we define energy as the ability to cause joy...

#1038

133147

Dec. 4, 2009, 7:34 a.m.

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Schafer: Make like a banana and split! Reckson: No, make like a tree and leave! Schafer: Oh, you have no idea what you just started. Make like a goalie and GET THE PUCK OUT!

#2232

8999

Sept. 29, 2010, 7:47 p.m.

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(Freshman functions, Rose is trying to learn names) Rose: Let me get my Indians sorted out first.

#397

7078

June 2, 2009, 12:05 p.m.

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Shirley: Is that our class? Schafer: Yes Schafer: Ask me another quesion and I'll respond in another language Shirley: Hmm... Okay... What's your name? No, wait- Schafer: Je m'appelle Mister Schafer. Shirley: Okay... What year is it? Schafer: Que es de dos mil nueve. Shirley: Hmm... How many picometers in a kilometer? Schafer: Okay, Italian. [Italian-sounding gibberish] Shirley: What's that in English? Schafer: Go f*** yourself

#1106

5359

Dec. 8, 2009, 11:25 p.m.

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Pham: You know why Stein son go CAP? Cause sexy CAP girl! Magnet girl got nothing on CAP girl! Alex Conteras, he got CAP girlfriend...

#4241

5359

Oct. 9, 2012, 5:26 p.m.

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//Giles is subbing for Duval Giles: Before we start the movie, I just want to make fun of the fact that M-E misspelled her name on the homework from today.

#1027

4044

Dec. 3, 2009, 2:48 p.m.

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//Kamal is reading Swokowski instead of listening to Mr. Whitacre //Whitacre walks up behind Kamal and steals his textbook Whitacre: Do you need this? //Whitacre walks to the window, opens it up, and holds the book out the window Kamal: I'd rather see you drop it out the window. //after about a minute of back-and-forth Whitacre: What book is this, anyways? Kamal: It's a math book. Ben: Multivariable calculus! Whitacre: Yeah, it's gotta go. //Whitacre drops the book out the window //everyone runs to the window to see //meanwhile, Kamal runs outside to retrieve his textbook Steven: Next goes the stool! //Steven starts putting the stool out the window, but Whitacre closes the window //Kamal gets his textbook, but he's locked out of the building //Whitacre asks another student to let Kamal in Whitacre (opening back up the window): We're sending rescue! (to the class) He can do math, but he can't get back into the building. Kamal (upon returning): That was roughly the coolest thing ever!

#3063

4044

March 11, 2011, 4:05 p.m.

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Fillman: All right, who's presenting next? How about your group? Bob (to Billings): I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE EYE CONTACT