#8952

-410

Jan. 28, 2021, 12:25 p.m.

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Student 1: listening to sabaton in the background is one hell of a drug Student 2: You listen to foot armour? Student 1: yes

#11959

-410

June 8, 2023, 1:21 p.m.

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Stelzner: You've probably wondered why we haven't gone over much poetry at all for all of English class so far. Jerry Song: Said nobody ever.

#797

-37

Nov. 3, 2009, 1:03 p.m.

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//Contreras is lying across a desk Kaluta's Substitute: Are you sure you're gonna make it? You don't look too good... Contreras: Nah, I'm just tired. Sub: I hope it's just from exercise and not a virus...

#1230

-37

Dec. 20, 2009, 2:47 p.m.

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Piper: Actually I'm not cool, I'm pretty hot.

#1699

-37

March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.

#1911

-37

May 12, 2010, 11:42 a.m.

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//Playing Jeopardy about Vietnam war Manuel: What government tried to establish Communist control in South Vietnam? Group: Um... Manuel: Time's up. Viju's group, do you have an answer? Viju: THE WAR FOR 800!

#4275

-37

Oct. 25, 2012, 7:35 a.m.

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//Simeon is playing a football game on his iPod. //Clare then takes the iPod from Simeon in the middle of the game. Simeon: Hey! You're going to make me lose. Clare: But I scored, see, it says touchdown. Simeon: The other team scored...

#9265

-37

Nov. 3, 2021, 6:44 p.m.

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Stein: Ya know that Toby kid? He is hilarious! He was teaching a topic in class and he SLAYED.

#10348

-37

March 25, 2022, 9:09 a.m.

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// Spanish assignment Victor: What are morals? Victor: What is integrity?

#10767

-37

Sept. 7, 2022, 8:20 a.m.

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Schwartz: I am not Canadian. // Later Schwartz: I was not able to fully pronounce the alphabet until I was 10.