Search Quotes
#12201
77
⚐ Report// Glenn taking about her son, who is out sick Glenn: So he was so bored that he asked me if I could do the chores. Glenn: I'm out here working, so I don't care. Glenn: Then he says "but you said I should be resting". Glenn(pulls out phone to text her son): Stop. Being. On. Your. Phone. // Later Glenn: "I can't sleep, I'll die of boredom. Please let me do something." Glenn: He is trying to outstubborn me. Little does he know where that stubbornness came from. Glenn: What comes after bargaining again?
#12193
88
⚐ ReportGlenn: I know I sound like a serial killer, but the insides of squid is so beautiful. Glenn: The liver is a nice pink and the ink sac is all iridescent.
#12180
77
⚐ ReportStudent: Friday is a half-day, so it's a really good day to skip. Glenn: You mean a really good day to have a doctor's appointment.
#12146
88
⚐ ReportGlenn: Rabies vaccine can be very unpleasant. You can get it in the stomach, thigh, and butt. Yongle: I'll take it from the butt.
#12144
44
⚐ Reportarjun: "noooo!!! you took the polio away!!!!" [a few minutes later] arjun: "wait, why is polio, like, bad??"
#12137
77
⚐ ReportGlenn: One of my friends had a high school band and it's name was UTI. Glenn: If you're like me it probably means urinary tract infection. Glenn: According to him, it stood for "under the influence" which is not much better.
#12121
1010
⚐ ReportGlenn: So in order to pay off college bills, I took the highest job I was willing to do, which was cutting and preparing cadavers. Glenn: It paid well, mind you. // Later Glenn: Anyone that spends their life working with dead bodies is always a little bit...off.
#12064
77
⚐ ReportGlenn: There’s TESTS!! and then there’s ~quizzies~. Nothing in between. // Glenn: So I came into my neighborhood and I was like “why are all the streetlights off? Why are all the houses dark?” [note: power outage from the plane crash.] But my neighbor Barbara, she has a generator, and so her house was all lit up. And I was like “good for you, Barbara!” // Glenn: Anxiety is not good for your sleep. Cause you’ll just be lying there and then your brain’s like “haHA!” // Glenn: these are the moments where I think to myself, “my kids are never gonna be able to get away with anything.”
#12052
77
⚐ ReportGlenn: If it is pure pandemonium, everything is on fire, it's pure chaos... Glenn: And one of you guys have the capacity to hit the button, do it.