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#10828

2626

Sept. 16, 2022, 3:13 p.m.

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//p9 fot Nicole: What's the opposite of fan fiction? Solomon: Slander

#10838

2222

Sept. 19, 2022, 2:12 p.m.

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Lodal: "You can do it! You can get better at the internet, make it load faster! If you just bang on the screen..."

Yet another example of a no-context Lodal moment.

ess, lodal

#10840

1313

Sept. 19, 2022, 2:48 p.m.

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//chaotic schwartz anthology, september 19 "It be the Day of Talkin' Like a Pirate!" "The best years be the years when Back to School Night be fallin' on Talk Like a Pirate Day, and your parents'll be much amused by the talkin' o' yer cap'n." "I don't know why Shakespeare gets into my Pirate." "Which we recognise as a symbol on our map! Whether it be MA or T(A), it point to the same treasure!" "I see some disagreement! I see some mutiny among the crew!" "We are pirates, and we care not about upstanding, positive values of k! For if k lies below the waves, it be breakin' our rules." "But I recall, from my youth, as a mere cabin-boy, that this y = mx + b, adding a constant, be a linear function!" "And here we see the true grain of the wood beneath us, and not the grime which covers it!" "As I aim the cannons everywhere I can aim them, I can hit every part of the ship we be aimin' to hit. Nothing is out of the range of my cannons." "You will find [your homework] in a folder the color of the sky and sea in the aft of the ship!" "Any questions about the running and management of the vessel?" "What kind of pirates ye be, taking on extra work ye ought not to do?" "That be work for landlubbers, not for honest pirates like you!" "One could be drawing the timbers that form the hull of our vessel!" "We see that z could be above the waves or down in the depths with Davy Jones!" "This is really an exercise in not talking myself in a corner."

#10841

66

Sept. 19, 2022, 3:12 p.m.

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Schwartz: So now we have, fool's gold, gold, and hkeelhaul!

Many years ago some student said "keelhaul" when Schwartz asked for a word that starts with an h

schwartz, analysis2

#10846

2222

Sept. 20, 2022, 9:47 a.m.

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Smolen: Don’t tell me you guys are magnet kids who do nothing but homework during the weekend.

#10848

1111

Sept. 20, 2022, 10:53 a.m.

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Moose: I could choose to stab you in the throat with your pen but instead I'm gonna give you a hug

// mod note: moose has a long track record of saying very out of pocket things such as this

moose

#10852

1111

Sept. 20, 2022, 1:53 p.m.

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// Resonance hybrids Hart: Unicorns don’t exist. Hart: Dragons don’t exist. Hart: Rhinos won’t exist for long…

#10855

1313

Sept. 20, 2022, 7:50 p.m.

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Kirk: My friend recently moved to Alaska to become a fish cop.

He stops people from illegally importing fish from Japan

analysis1b, kirk

#10863

1313

Sept. 21, 2022, 5:34 p.m.

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//chaotic schwartz anthology, september 21 //this was during a lesson using an applied-linear-algebra problem based on student suggestions "We're going to use this maths for some real-world applications. Anyone who's been in one of my classes before knows that there's a catch, because anything in my class won't work in real life." "How much fun is in cat food? 2. There are two fun in cat food." "How much hydrochloric acid is in cat food? 10." "And how much charcoal is in cat food? Negative three. When you eat cat food, it sucks three charcoal out of you." "I'm so glad I can give examples that are relevant to your everyday life. I want to make sure you know how much nutrition to get from your cat food." "Some of you might prefer flavoured solid rocket fuel, which has some added charcoal." "If I want to calculate how much fun you're eating, I need to know how much cat food you eat each day -- I don't know how much; that will, of course, vary for each of you ..." "We want to make sure that you get enough hydrochloric acid every day." "Disclaimer: please don't eat hydrochloric acid. Please don't eat anything that isn't food for human consumption."

#10867

1313

Sept. 22, 2022, 3:10 p.m.

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// Solomon’s poem about Mr. Kirk’s word problem Iris and Yoda both pooped in the tank The poop permeated and god it stank Iris and Yoda crazy like the mad matter Filling the tank with fecal matter Iris and Yoda might seem cutie But they always do their duty Iris and Yoda both pooped in the tank And the brown stuff slowly sank Cause Iris and Yoda both pooped in the tank