#1209

1414

Dec. 17, 2009, 1:37 p.m.

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Whitacre: Tiger Woods' gospel: do unto them as often as possible.

#1302

1414

Jan. 12, 2010, 9:10 a.m.

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Piper: The freshman have apoplexy every time they see backpacks. "AHH! THERE'S A BACKPACK! THERE'S A BACKPACK! WHAT SHOULD I DO?"

#1303

1414

Jan. 12, 2010, 11:37 a.m.

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Schafer: About 80% of the teams were as dumb as bricks, and believe me, I've seen some smart bricks!

#1360

1414

Jan. 19, 2010, 9:51 p.m.

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Moose: What has existed throughout all of Russian history? Theresa: Vodka!

#1622

1414

March 9, 2010, 8:08 p.m.

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Mr. Verock: Everything on the board has a meaning. Except that part over there... Apparently I'm a zombie.

#1625

1414

March 10, 2010, 6:21 p.m.

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//A story from Dr. Simel... So, you know, a long time ago, I used to like to catch a few Zs before my classes. So I had my pillow, and my blanket, and there was this conference room next to my office. I told the secretary to wake me up in 15 minutes, when my class started, and I lay down under the conference table. Later, I woke up, and saw that I had been drooling. Like, reeeeaally drooling. And I looked at my watch, and noticed I was 10 minutes late for class. And then I noticed there were a bunch of legs all around me, and realized they were having a meeting, and they didn't know I was under here. So I was thinking, "Oh my god, what do I do, I can't just skip class," and so I crawled out from under the table - and I was about 30, y'know - and all the people just stared at me. And when I got out of the room, about 3 seconds later, I heard them all start to crack up. Then, a few years later, whenever someone looked at me and started to laugh, I knew that person had been one of the people in the room. Isn't that great?

#1630

1414

March 10, 2010, 9:33 p.m.

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// discussing the awakening in ap lang, esp. adele when dr. simel walks in Mrs. Gross: If you're a women, you can be a housewife, a trophy wife, an assistant, a nurse... Student: Or prostitute! Mrs: Or a prostitute. Adele's a perfect housewife though. She's on her back all the time. Having sex or having a baby. Having something! Dr. Simel: What book is this? Class: The Awakening Dr. Simel: I love it already. // as she walks out she grabs a copy.

#1760

1414

April 9, 2010, 1:53 p.m.

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Nilay, to Gibi: You look like a dinosaur. Gibi, to Gross: They're verbally harassing me! Gross: You're harassing them by how you look.

#1767

1414

April 10, 2010, 4:58 p.m.

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*Rose walks into class ten minutes late* Ostrander: You didn't really need to come: he (Warren) could really teach the class. Rose: Yeah, isn't he great? Ostrander: In fact, I don't know why we even pay you... Rose: -sweat- um, legal things - he's a minor!

#1873

1414

May 4, 2010, 6:27 p.m.

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Rose: Man, I am in a much better mood today now that it isn't so hot and stuffy. I was seriously thinking about wearing like 80% less clothes today. Class: Ewwwwww! Rose: No, I meant 80% less weight, not...surface area.