#9021

2527

Feb. 22, 2021, 12:32 p.m.

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Rose: What's your favorite class? Don't worry, I won't be offended. Student: Uhh... Mr. Kaluta's class Rose: Because of the class or because Mr. Kaluta's kinda wild? Student: ...Because we don't do much

#10722

2527

June 17, 2022, 2:02 p.m.

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Katz (entering Rose's empty classroom): Will it ever be "Morbin' time"? Rose: No! It will not.

#13232

2527

March 22, 2024, 7:35 a.m.

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Eric Shi: do you like fascism or communism? Jason Yao: both Jason: Anyways what is sodomy, like actually?

#13594

2527

April 2, 2025, 6:06 p.m.

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Gaffney: I know you all played the "I can get a 0 on this test because Grade Melon told me so" game Gaffney: I hate Grade Melon so much

#13745

2527

April 14, 2026, 9:51 a.m.

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Sahu: Yesterday, we had a staff meeting about prom volunteering. Sahu: Mr. Kirk turned to me and said with a straight face, "Will you go to prom with me?" Sahu: I said no.

#1739

297331

March 26, 2010, 8:45 a.m.

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Pham: I love algebra, so beautiful, everything work out pretty. (pause) Pham: Algebra prettier than girlfriend, you wish yo' girlfriend look like algebra.

#3210

2933

April 10, 2011, 10:09 p.m.

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//at mini golf Thomas (holding up a blue golf ball): How am I supposed to get rid of these blue balls when there's a five stroke limit per hole!

#3179

3945

March 31, 2011, 11:45 p.m.

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Tommy: soup Nilay: yo wassabi Tommy: what chew doing Nilay: why the stew-pid food puns Tommy: i donut, but im hungry for more Nilay: wow, another food pun, and i'll make you eat your words Tommy: wow simmer down now, no need to get all heated up over this Nilay: man, get ready - imma bout to fry you Tommy: umad cuz your temperature is boiling Nilay: wow, that was just terrible... i don't think you can ketchup to my punz Tommy: i dont think you can mustard up many more of these Nilay: i don't need to, cuz you're probably about to go pasta la vista Tommy: listen to this nutella pun, smh Nilay: bag-uette, son Tommy: o hush puppy. i got a dozen more where these came from Nilay: baker's dozen*, BURNNNN Tommy: wine about it to the baker then Nilay: beer you than me Tommy: your puns arent very palatable ... Tommy: time to bring out my weapons of mass convection Nilay: wow get the SMELL out Tommy: you knead to do a better job first Nilay: butter* Tommy: o lordy howd i miss that one. Nilay: cuz you doughn't see anything buddy Tommy: lemme give you a pizza my mind Nilay: dog (kekeke, koreans), imma bout to pop a corn up yo dunkin' donkey Tommy: this dog trying to talk like a man, duh. kekeke Nilay: kukukuku ... Nilay: kk juice? Nilay: truce** Tommy: fien. had more tho Nilay: lol really? Tommy: had a good thyme... Tommy: the skillet takes to make a good pun is beyond compare ... Nilay: kk we should pick an arbitrary subject and have punoffs Tommy: aight lol. on days ending in y ... Tommy: khoa gonna have some serious compuntition soon Nilay: haha you got that khompletely khorrect

#1325

2628

Jan. 15, 2010, 8:35 a.m.

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//Shirley is looking for something in the physics back room //leafblower noises are emitted from the back room Schafer: There is no reason for you to have a leafblower in your hand. //Shirley emerges with no leafblower in hand Shirley: I don't! Schafer: But you did have a leafblower in your hand. Shirley: No comment.

#1654

2628

March 15, 2010, 12:18 p.m.

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Schafer: You know what's indispensable? Especially in physical sciences, like math, physics, chemistry, engineering, its -- Contreras: Mr Pham. By far.