#3210

2933

April 10, 2011, 10:09 p.m.

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//at mini golf Thomas (holding up a blue golf ball): How am I supposed to get rid of these blue balls when there's a five stroke limit per hole!

#3179

3945

March 31, 2011, 11:45 p.m.

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Tommy: soup Nilay: yo wassabi Tommy: what chew doing Nilay: why the stew-pid food puns Tommy: i donut, but im hungry for more Nilay: wow, another food pun, and i'll make you eat your words Tommy: wow simmer down now, no need to get all heated up over this Nilay: man, get ready - imma bout to fry you Tommy: umad cuz your temperature is boiling Nilay: wow, that was just terrible... i don't think you can ketchup to my punz Tommy: i dont think you can mustard up many more of these Nilay: i don't need to, cuz you're probably about to go pasta la vista Tommy: listen to this nutella pun, smh Nilay: bag-uette, son Tommy: o hush puppy. i got a dozen more where these came from Nilay: baker's dozen*, BURNNNN Tommy: wine about it to the baker then Nilay: beer you than me Tommy: your puns arent very palatable ... Tommy: time to bring out my weapons of mass convection Nilay: wow get the SMELL out Tommy: you knead to do a better job first Nilay: butter* Tommy: o lordy howd i miss that one. Nilay: cuz you doughn't see anything buddy Tommy: lemme give you a pizza my mind Nilay: dog (kekeke, koreans), imma bout to pop a corn up yo dunkin' donkey Tommy: this dog trying to talk like a man, duh. kekeke Nilay: kukukuku ... Nilay: kk juice? Nilay: truce** Tommy: fien. had more tho Nilay: lol really? Tommy: had a good thyme... Tommy: the skillet takes to make a good pun is beyond compare ... Nilay: kk we should pick an arbitrary subject and have punoffs Tommy: aight lol. on days ending in y ... Tommy: khoa gonna have some serious compuntition soon Nilay: haha you got that khompletely khorrect

#1325

2628

Jan. 15, 2010, 8:35 a.m.

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//Shirley is looking for something in the physics back room //leafblower noises are emitted from the back room Schafer: There is no reason for you to have a leafblower in your hand. //Shirley emerges with no leafblower in hand Shirley: I don't! Schafer: But you did have a leafblower in your hand. Shirley: No comment.

#1654

2628

March 15, 2010, 12:18 p.m.

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Schafer: You know what's indispensable? Especially in physical sciences, like math, physics, chemistry, engineering, its -- Contreras: Mr Pham. By far.

#1717

2628

March 24, 2010, 5:18 p.m.

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(Mrs. Ravilious wakes Valerie up) Mrs. Ravilious: Why does everyone keep falling asleep? *sigh* Okay, keep reading. (A student keeps reading the assignment, Valerie starts talking to someone) Mrs. Ravilious: VALERIE, GO BACK TO SLEEP! (Entire class laughs) Mrs. Ravilious: In my 26 years of teaching that's the first time I've ever said that to student.

#1934

2628

May 18, 2010, 6:58 p.m.

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Eric Van Albert: It's definitely a girl. I'm not riding a guy.

#2538

2628

Nov. 16, 2010, 4:43 a.m.

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Student: Wait, so this one reacted but the other one didn't? Pham: Yes. (pause) No! (pause) Student: But... Pham: Yes! Students: ? Pham: WHY YOU CONFUSE?!?!

#3267

2628

April 27, 2011, 2:26 p.m.

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Stein: It was the only time in my life when I have ever heard a 35 year old man say to a 72 year old woman "I'm going to kick the f------ s--- out of you."

#3920

2628

Jan. 31, 2012, 8:03 p.m.

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//Stein is talking about how stat is more important than "regular math" Stein: I'd get in trouble is anyone heard me say that. A math teacher would walk by, and say: "What do you mean? They need to rotate conic sections!"

#4006

2628

Feb. 28, 2012, 8:49 p.m.

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//Block B freshman chem, discussing compound formulas Matthew: ...so phosphorous wants three electrons, and then you do swappy-swappy-- Pham: No! Not swappy-swappy! Matthew: Cross-multiplying, swappy-swappy, you know... //Pham closes his eyes, as if in physical pain Pham (bellowing): ...NO! SWAPPY!